john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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