shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Panties = found
Randomize
