Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I die, sorry about rent.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
