At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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