Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
