Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
