The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
