try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
