There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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