Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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