Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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