plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
