the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
