Banned from zoo.
Again?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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