Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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