New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
