wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
