he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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