What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
