Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
