You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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