Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
