The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
