I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
