please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
