I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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