where am i from again
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
