Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
