this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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