You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
All I want is dick and wine.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
