I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
