dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
