we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
