Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
