Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
