Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
