what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
