And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw a hot homeless man
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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