they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
