Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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