Midget sex pt 2 tonight
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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