Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
