I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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