sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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