Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
