I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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