That's intense
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
