went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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