He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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