I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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