I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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