WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
