is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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