So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
