Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
