I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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