my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
