I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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