Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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